Making Me New

Last night I was listening to the radio on my way home from youth group. The sound Lift My Life Up came on by Unspoken. Maybe you've heard it, maybe not. As I was listening to the lyrics I realized how much this song reflects my life right now. If you haven't heard the song you can listen to it here: Lift My Life Up.

The song starts by saying:

You brought me this far

So why would I question you now

You have provided

So why would I start to doubt

I've never been stranded

Abandoned or left here to fight alone

So I'm giving you control




I lift my heart, lift my heart up


You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans
Lord

I leave it in your hands


I lift my life, lift my life up


Have your way in me
Have your way in me


If peace is a river


Then let it sweep over me


I'm under fire
I know it's refining me

When I hear you calling out


I follow now wherever the road may go

I know you're leading me home

In an earlier post I wrote about starting a new job. I wrote about how I had this perfect plan lined out to teach in a classroom and to finish my Master's Degree in Literacy. Then God took me a whole different direction. A direction I never would have pursued on my own. As I've started this new chapter in my life, I feel it now more than ever that I need God in every area of my life. I need Him in my marriage, in my friendships, in my job, and in our youth group. Without God being at the center of everything I do, I am worthless. There are so many days I wake up and get to work and think I am so unqualified for this job, yet God continues to give me peace and wisdom. There are days where I don't want to love to those around me, and God reminds me to walk alongside of them and love them. I am realizing the beauty of simply walking with people where they are. There are days when I don't want to serve Chris and I want to be selfish, yet God reminds me that I am serving Him through serving Chris. I know that God is stretching me and continuing to mold me into the person He wants me to be. This song is my prayer. That I would honestly lift everything in my life up to God, that He would have His way in me.  I know that He is making me new and it is such a beautiful experience. 

The Blessing of Family...

The dictionary definition of family is "a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household." If you were an education major, you would have taken a whole class on how family dynamics have changed over the years. I believe a better definition for family is a group of people who love one another and take care of each others needs. A family is supporting, encouraging, and above all, a place to feel safe. According to my definition, a family may not necessarily be parents and their children. It could be friends, other relatives, or even church members.

I learned this most recently when I went away to school. I was far away from my family, but I soon met others who would join my family. It's almost funny how some of my friends and mentors seemed more like family than some of my own relatives. I formed deep, real, raw relationship with people who to this day mean the world to me. They have poured into me and have helped shape me into the person who I am today and I can not thank them enough. They will always be family to me.

I write this today because lately I have felt overwhelmingly blessed by my family. My family from school, which I am still in contact with, but also my family at home. I'm not only blessed to have my entire family (extended) in St. Louis, but also Chris' parents. I am very thankful for the healthy relationship we are able to have with both of our families. I cannot describe to you how supportive and encouraging our families have been - throughout our whole lives, but especially in this new season for Chris and I. I gained a great deal of respect for both my parents and Chris' during the wedding planning. We had heard many horror stories about families fighting and disagreeing about wedding plans. Both of our parents were there to help and assist but they allowed us to make all of our own decisions without judgement. That may seem small, but it is a HUGE blessing. Planning a wedding is stressful enough, but having the pressure of pleasing other people while doing it is just not needed.

Our families are not only supportive in the big things, but the small things as well. They are constantly checking in on us, praying for us, and inviting us over. We had a church event last night and my cousin brought his kids out for it - which was awesome! Chris is getting ordained this Sunday and both of our families are coming and then going to dinner to celebrate. Both of our families helped us move in to our new apartment and did everything they could to help! These are just a few examples.

I don't write all of this to brag about our families. I have just come to realize what a HUGE blessing it is to have two families who are so encouraging and supportive that I had to share. It is a very rare treasure and I thank God for giving us the families that He did.

Summer Adventures

When I originally started this blog, I intended to use it for more of an artsy release type of thing, but now that I am out of college and living far away from my dearest friends I decided I want to actually start writing about my everyday life so they can keep up in a simple way. Sometimes there is just too much to share over one Skype call.

Today at work, I was writing the date down and I was shocked that we are already halfway through August. I seriously don’t know where the time has gone.  We’ve been extremely busy and a lot of people have wanted an update on what’s happening in our world. So here is a breakdown for those of you who want to know!

Honeymoon – Directly after our wedding (which was everything we dreamed it would be – thank you to everyone who came and made it so incredibly special) we went on a week long vacation to Jamaica. The island was absolutely breath taking, the food was amazing, and I loved getting to hang-out with my husband for a week straight with no distractions! We made a deal to go back to the same resort for one of our anniversaries, but we didn’t decide on any specific one!

Trips – Pretty much right after we got back from our honeymoon we left for 16 days with our youth group. We spent the first week at the Christ In Youth (CIY) Conference in Tennessee. We had a blast getting to know our sponsors and students better. Directly following that week, we left for Chicago for 9 days where we got to work with an organization that works with refugee families. We got to experience many different cultures, religions, people groups, and foods. It was an amazing trip and a great learning experience for everyone. Although both of the trips were awesome, we were excited to return home and get into a normal routine.

Our Home – Two days after returning home from our trips, we moved into our new home. We absolutely LOVE it here. We finally have everything unpacked and decorated how we want it. We bought paint the other day and we are planning on sprucing it up a little. All white walls are a little blahhh. I’ve really enjoyed getting to cook and bake for Chris. All of my meals have turned out well, except one. I over-slept from a nap and burnt our pulled pork in the crockpot L … the awesome thing about my husband is that he will eat it anyways! –That’s when you know you’ve found a keeper because I didn’t even eat it! One of the cookbooks I’ve been making things out of is called – Cooking with Flavor. It is simply amazing. Knowing how to use spices makes your meal go from bland to grand!! I would highly recommend this book!!

The Church – Chris has now been the full time Youth Pastor at FCCF for almost 3 months and he loves it. We could not ask for a better church. The staff is amazing, the members are amazing, and our students are amazing. It’s hard to describe, but we both feel such a strong sense of unity within the church and we could not be happier to be there. I am currently teaching a 7^th grade Sunday School class (they’re crazy, but I love their high energy – most days) J and we are planning on going to a young adult/married couples small group starting up in September, so a lot of really fun stuff is happening.

Work – I recently started training for my new job as an ABA Therapist. So far I am really enjoying it and only working with two clients. I’m looking forward to the next few weeks and having a more normal schedule, but other than that I am just jumping in. It is definitely a fun experience, but it also has its challenges! I am really thanking the Lord for bringing me down this path, as well as Chris for supporting me 100% in taking a step of faith. 

Two exciting things this month: 1. We get our wedding pictures TODAY!! 2. Chris is getting ordained this month! (So extremely proud of him!)

So that is kind of our life in a nutshell as of now. We are staying really busy between work, church, family, birthdays and friends. It’s nice when we just have a night to relax and cuddle up on the couch. We have a lot of fun things coming up in the next few months and we’re really looking forward to celebrating them together!!! 

The Next Chapter...

As many of you know, I graduated from Missouri State University on May 17 with my Bachelor of Science in Education. Let me just say, it is an awesome feeling to be done with school. My plan was to enjoy my summer – get married, help out at the youth events, hangout with friends, you know, the usual – and then I would get a teaching job and start my first year of teaching in August and eventually finish my Master’s Degree in Literacy. That was the plan and I was set that it would happen.

As the weeks passed, I wasn’t hearing from any schools. I eventually got one interview, but they ended up going with people who had more experience. Surprisingly, I wasn’t really upset because I had been praying A LOT about getting a job.  I got to a point where I felt very content with whatever happened and I had peace knowing fully that God would provide when the time was right.

Weeks went by and nothing new came my way. I began praying that God would show me if I was supposed to be doing something else. I had no clue what I would even want to do, except teach in a school. After a few weeks of prayer, I really started to feel a pull towards working with kids with Autism. I had been babysitting two families who have autistic children for two years and had really fallen in love with the kiddos and working with them. One of the families happened to be looking for a new behavioral therapist. I kind of pushed it aside, but it kept coming back up in my mind. Many things happened within the next month that I believe were clear signs that I should pursue my passion for working with kids with Autism.

So, with all of that being said, I am happy to say that I will be taking a job as an Applied Behavioral Specialist. I am so excited for this new learning experience in my life. I have to admit, it is a huge step of faith to start a career that I was not planning. I have committed to the families and if I were to get a call about a classroom job, I would have to turn it down and that was hard for me to swallow at first, but I am trusting that this is the path God has for me right now and I am so excited. I am excited to get to know my kiddos better and to help them become the best that they can be. I am also excited to have a more flexible job schedule so I can focus on making my marriage Christ-centered and being able to help support Chris in the youth ministry.  

Not a goodbye, but a see you later

I moved to Springfield three and a half years ago. I was homesick and knew no one. Every inch in my being wanted to move back home and be with my friends and family. As I begin packing up my apartment three and a half years later, I find myself not wanting to leave my new family. Over the past three years I have met so many incredible people. People who have become my best friends. People who have helped me become who I am. It is hard to imagine my life without these people being right by my side. Don't get me wrong, we will have lots of Skype dates, phone calls, and Facebook messages, but it is just not the same!

Reflecting back on my past three years, I have an overwhelming sense of peace that God had a plan and a purpose for my time here at Missouri State. My path was supposed to cross with all of these wonderful people. God has taught me some amazing things during my time at college. I just want to go through some of the awesome blessing during my time at Missouri State.

For starters, Christian Campus House was a HUGE blessing. The staff took me under their wing and helped me feel at home when I was very homesick. I became super involved and my relationship with the Lord grew and molded in ways I never would have imagined. I got to experience true discipleship, true service, and true missions work. I was able to travel to Mexico and Kosovo on mission trips. Both of these places hold a very near and dear place in my heart. The staff and students at CCH become not only my very close friends, but my family. I cannot express how much I love and cherish CCH. 

These three woman, have impacted my life in amazing ways! Monique, Anne, and Sarah are all women's ministers at CCH. They have been there for me my entire college career. They have been there to encourage me, laugh with me, give me advice, and tell me things I didn't always want to hear. I know that they love me and believe in me and I appreciate that so much :) They have each individually taught me so much about the Lord and about life. They do SO much for the girls in CCH and they deserve recognition and praise! Thank you for all the times you've listened to my freak outs, let me cry on your shoulder, made fun of me, and accepted me for who I am. I love each and everyone of you so deeply.

Megan and I met second semester of freshman year in the stairwell of Freddy. I seriously don't know what I would have done without her!! We are both education majors and have had all of our classes together. We lived together this last semester! She is one of my best friends. I love how open and honest we can be with each other. We are alike in so many ways, it's scary! Thank you for being such a great friend to me! I know that we will stay friends forever and talk about life and teacher stuff!! I'm so excited for where your life is headed. I know the Lord is going to use you in powerful ways!! 

Katie Anne is one of my closest friends. We met at the very first 8:01 of freshman year. My friendship with Katie is unlike any other friendships I've ever had. She has taught me to embrace who I am and go with it. She is brilliant (even though she would argue otherwise), she always puts others before herself, she is a faithful friend, a true servant of the Lord, and she has a huge heart. She has taught me so much. She has listened to my rants about life, countless times. She has been there for me through my darkest times and my happiest times. We have so many memories together and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes her. I know she is going to do amazing things for the Kingdom! 

This beautiful lady, Melissa was my roommate for two years! We met freshman year as well. She is one of the most fun, loving, and adventurous people I have ever met. She has such a gentle and loving spirit! She is also one of the strongest women I know. We have gone through many ups and downs together over the past three years and there isn't anyone I would have rather shared them with. :) She just had her first baby girl! I am so excited for what the Lord has in store for her. She is going to be a great momma!!

Kayla is seriously an angel sent from heaven. She has been such a blessing in my life. We met the first Sunday of freshman year. She took me under her wing and became my mentor. We met every week to study the Bible. We soon became very close friends, and eventually accountability partners. Kayla knows my heart better than anyone (besides the Lord and Chris of course). She has been a great example of what a Godly women looks like. She is dependable, humble, and she loves the Lord with all of her being. We have shared in so much together. We are able to be completely honest with one another and lean on each other during hard times. I know she is always someone I can call and ask for prayer. She means so much to me!! 

Last, but certainly not least is my handsome fiancé! Who knew going into college that I would end up marrying this hunk? Chris is my best friend and the love of my life. God brought us together during our sophomore year of college. He has been such a blessing to me over the past few years. He has made me a better, stronger person. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for us! :) 

There have been many others who have impacted my life during college. Friends that I will never forget and who I will stay in contact with. I am so thankful for the past three and a half years. If I had to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you to everyone who has been apart of my life during the last three years. You have greatly impacted my life! :)

New Beginnings

Before getting engaged, Chris and I talked about where we wanted to end up once we were married. So many people have been asking us what our plans are going to be once we are married and our answer has been, "We don't know yet." Well, in my last post I talked about how I surrendered Chris and I's relationship to the Lord and had a lot of peace that He would reveal to us where He wanted us, in His timing. -- That time has finally come! The last month and a half has been absolutely crazy for Chris and I. I want to share the story with everyone because it is such a testimony to who God is and how when we give up control, He shows us His plan and it is always better than what we would have planned. So, here we go.... :)

Chris got an email about a month and a half ago from a church in Florissant, MO requesting a resume for him. We found this really comical. I know that may sounds odd, but let me explain. Chris really wants to live anywhere, except Missouri and all of his contacts are outside of Missouri so he figured he would get his way. I on the other hand, really really really wanted to stay in Missouri. Both of our families live here and I am certified to teach here. I kind of gave up on the hope of living in MO since we really had no contacts in MO. God had other plans. Weirdly enough the preacher from Florissant found Chris' resume over Google while looking for a friend's contact information. That same friend was a reference on Chris' online resume. After finding this out, I was humbled by how the Lord used something as simple as Google to get us a contact in Missouri. This whole time I figured Missouri would be counted out and I totally discredited the work the Lord could do.

After an interview, things just really started falling into place. Everyday we were finding out new information that was just odd. We figured out how the church was the same church that one of my aunts attends. We also found out that our youth minister from high school grew up in that church. The pastors son-in-law had worked at Harvester, our home church, under Chris' dad. It felt like everyday there was a new connection we had to the church. As the weeks went by, we continued to pray and just trust that if this is what God had for us, that it would continue to work out.

Further along in the interview process, we had a few things we were trying to figure out, such as, where Chris would live if he worked at the church and if he would be able to meet all of his financial needs, and finish his schooling. It was incredible because we did nothing and things just fell into place. His financial needs were met, the church offered him a house to live in during his time there, and his classes fell perfectly on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He originally had class everyday of the week, but the class on M-W-F got cancelled and moved to T-TH. He also found out that a conference he went to this semester could count as an Independent Study and would get him 3 credits. All of these things happened so quickly and we did nothing for them to work.

This past month and a half has grown my faith tremendously. We did not do a thing and everything fell perfectly into place. I always freaked out about figuring out God's will for my life and wanting to make sure I was doing the right thing. I have learned over the past few months, when we surrender and truly let God work, He will place us exactly where He wants us. This overwhelms me with peace. We never imagined not being long distance before we were married and now in December we finally will get to be together long term. Chris will be starting his position with the youth group beginning in the New Year and will be living in Florissant and traveling to Lincoln twice a week for classes. We will finally get to experience being in the same town (or state for that matter) and doing ministry together. It is such an exciting time for us and such a blessing from the Lord. :)

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures,
 he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
 He guides me along the right paths
 for his name’s sake. Even though I walk
 through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil,
 for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
 they comfort me. You prepare a table before me
 in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil;
 my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
  forever. 
- Psalm 23 

This has been the verse that has been on my heart for the past few weeks. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a control freak and a planner. This is a very exciting time in my life because it is my last semester at Missouri State and then I move home, student teach, and then get married! This semester I decided to really really try to keep a heavenly perspective. This is something that I have found is easy to say you're doing, but is an entirely different thing to actually do. I surrendered so many things to the Lord. My schoolwork, my stress, and my worries. The three biggest things were probably my student teacher placement, Chris' and I's future, and my stress load this semester. I have to say, giving up control is one of the best things I have ever done. I honestly don't know why I didn't do it earlier. The Lord has been working in so many amazing ways. It's incredible. I'm excited to share some of those things in future posts :) This verse just reminds me that He is leading me, He is refreshing me, and He is guiding me. If I choose to be obedient and look to Him for direction, everything will work out. As many of my classmates are freaking out this semester about the amount of work and the amount of stress, I find myself dwelling in the presence of the Lord. Finding joy, peace, and happiness.