Never Say Never

It's been a while since I've written last. It's been over a month since little miss went to live with a relative. We have gotten many updates about how she is doing and have been able to stay in contact, which brings my heart so much joy. We are at complete peace that she is in good hands and doing well. Being a month removed from our heartache, I can see so clearly what God was up to. In the midst of all the pain, it was the right move for her and for that I am thankful.

It's been a little ironic for me to work through some of my feelings these past few months because I feel like sometimes people put us on a pedestal for what we are doing. We are told often how awesome we are. It's actually been really funny to me because through this whole process, God is teaching me just how selfish, entitled, and sinful I really am. If I'm honest, that's been a game changer for me. I've always realized I have my issues, but for the most part, I felt like I wasn't "that bad". Boy has that changed!

God is stretching me and growing me in ways I NEVER expected. In some ways, I wouldn't change it for the world because I feel that for the first time in my faith, I am actually comprehending what it truly means to be a Christ follower. I'm learning what it means to set aside what I want, what I think is best and most comfortable. I'm learning to set aside the American dream that I've thought I deserve and am entitled to. Instead God is wrecking my heart for people who also desperately need to know His love and experience life change. In these last few months, I have experienced the Spirit in ways I never knew were possible. It's exhilarating and empowering. It's also scary and causes complete reliance on Him. It's the best and the worst, if that's even possible.

Two weeks ago we were made aware that one of our students was in need of a permanent place to stay and call home. ((Let me tell you that when we started this process, I told Chris that I would NOT take in teenagers, at least for a while. It was too scary for me. There was already so much out of my control with foster care alone that I couldn't handle much more than elementary aged kids.)) Well, I'm learning to never say never to God. When I first heard of this student needing a place to stay, I knew exactly what Chris would want to do. I won't lie, it wasn't as quick and easy for me to just say yes. I took time to pray and seek out the Lord and he WRECKED me. Even though I may have fears, it all goes back to our main mission and purpose when we started this ministry. I've thought back to one of my last posts A Simple Yes. I knew that I couldn't say I was about helping children who needed a place to stay and then say "no" to one of our own students that we love and care about. God reminded me of our purpose, how awesome of an opportunity and impact this can be. He reminded me that this life isn't about me playing it safe or being comfortable. My house and money are not my own. Over and over He showed me truths and exposed my selfishness.

So today, we start a new journey. A journey that will look much different than our last, for many reasons. We are taking someone 10 years older, with much more life experiences. We aren't able to work with the system, so many things will be different. It will be a new learning process, but it's one we are excited about.

Here's to never saying never to God and helping raise a teenager!