A simple yes.

When we started the foster process I was filled with many emotions. I can't tell you how many times I replayed the scenario in my head of when we'd get our first little one. Even though I had no picture, or reference, I still thought about it a lot. We would wait for them at the door and welcome them to our home. We'd tell them our names and show them their room. We'd help them unpack their things and show them around. We'd all start to adjust and get used to our new normal. I was excited, anxious, and fearful all at the same time.

I had a LOT of fears when it came to fostering. I had a LOT of what if's. I wrote a blog post on this once before. For those who know me well, you know that I am extremely Type A personality. I love order, structure, and consistency. I like knowing the plan and being in control of the plan. Fostering turned my world upside down because all of the things I love and thrive off of were taken from me. I wanted to write this post for people who have maybe considered doing foster care, but are similar to me and letting fear stand in their way. I want this to be an encouragement to you. To share with you how much God has provided for us in this new journey and how He will do the same for you.

Three of my biggest concerns were family visits, having everything a child would need, and finding respite care for our already planned trips. Most children in foster care get weekly visits with their parents, sometimes more than once a week. I was VERY stressed about how we would make this happen with Chris and I both working full time. I also had fears about the financial burden of setting up our house for a child. We had NOTHING for children and were starting from scratch. Lastly, we knew of two weeks that we'd be gone this summer and it just seemed easier to keep putting our start date off. Don't get me wrong, I had a lot of other little fears and what if's swirling around in my head, but these three haunted me.

All that to say, God has stomped on ALL of my fears and what if's. He has blessed us beyond measure and provided in ways that can only be explained by His goodness.

1. I was stressed about visits and we found out that she would only have one monthly visit. This took off a lot of added stress for us. ((Don't get me wrong, if she is allowed more time with her mom, we will gladly find the time to make it happen.))

2. I was stressed about getting everything she would need for day to day life. Before little miss even came to us, our friends threw us a gift card shower, which was a huge blessing. We were able to prepare a whole bedroom for her to come to, full of toys and games. Several co-workers, friends, and church members have gone out of their way to buy her clothes, shoes, and toys. People have mailed us things as well. We literally have not bought her any clothes and her closet is overflowing. She came with one pair of shoes that fit her and she now has a closet full of choices. People in our life have seen a need and met it. It is humbling and so overwhelming.

3. I was stressed about all that our life holds. We are busy people. We had already planned an anniversary trip for the summer, plus we had CIY for our youth kids. For both of these trips I knew kids would not be allowed to come. Having these fears made it easy for me to keep pushing off our start date. When little miss came, I started to pray that respite would fall into place. It broke my heart to think about putting her in a stranger's home and telling her we'd be back in a week. I just couldn't bring myself to it. I had thoughts of canceling our vacation and doing it another time. Just this week, God, yet again provided in a BIG way. Our friends, who are currently in the process of becoming foster parents themselves, are going to be able to watch her while we are gone. They are literally finishing the trainings they need TWO, yes TWO days before we leave. Little miss knows them, is familiar with their house, and loves playing with their girls. My heart has been so overwhelmed with joy and peace since we've found out that they can watch her.

Lastly, I know that for many a fear is having a good support group. This one can be hard because you don't get to choose how your friends and family will respond to your decision. I wouldn't say that this was a fear for me, as we had a lot of support from the get-go. However, I did worry that our social life would die once we had a child in our home. I feared that our friends wouldn't want to hangout. This is probably the fear that has not only been stomped on, but has brought me the most joy. I have learned that it most definitely takes a village and our is the best. I'm not kidding when I say that I will think about the ways our friends and family have blessed us over this past month and just cry tears of joy. We've had friends call us and ask to come take little miss out so we could have alone time. We've had friends come to the house and hangout with her so that we could go out on a date. I've had a friend sitting on my bed, while I ugly cry, and just encourage me and pray over me. We have people who are constantly checking in to see how the three of us are doing. I've made late night calls to people who always answer, and listen, and provide wisdom and suggestions. It's been amazing to watch our friends and family connect with little miss. They are doing what they do because they care and they see the mission, but also because they already care deeply for her. It's amazing getting to see the connections she is making with so many people that are dear to our hearts. She is impacting the lives of so many.


With all of the fears I've talked about, whether big or little, I could have easily let them get in the way. I could have let my thoughts take me captive and never moved forward with becoming a foster parent, but in all of this, I have learned one simple thing. All we need to be is obedient. All we need to do is say "yes," and God will do the rest.

{{If you're reading this and you've sent well wishes, messages of encouragement, texts to check in on us, you've asked how we are doing in person, you bought clothes/toys/shoes/etc. THANK YOU. We could not do what we are doing without the support and love from all of you.}}

Day by Day

Today, as I was scrolling though Facebook, I realized that May is National Foster Care Awareness month. I've thought about writing a blog post several times, but haven't actually made the time to sit down and type out all my thoughts. Reading through the different foster care pages I follow, I decided that this month is a great time to share. 

I've posted a few thought on Facebook, but I don't even know if what I've experienced over the past month can even been put into adequate words.

First, I'm amazed at how quickly we've been able to make a connection with little miss. She has adjusted so well to us and really seems to be enjoying herself. She has let her sassy personality shine. She loves to make jokes, cuddle, and just spend quality time together.  She's confident, super intelligent, and isn't afraid to call us out. Just today at dinner she said, "You two just talk and talk and talk." In the moments you want to be mad, you know she's right. I thank God for blessing Chris and me with such a sweet little girl. She has turned our life upside down, but man, is she worth it. 

Things have really started to get into a routine for us. Somedays, I forget all the sticky circumstances we live under. I forget that she's five and has a thousand thoughts in her mind about what the rest of her life holds. When she opens up to us and shares the things she experienced in her life, it takes everything in me to not just cry with her. I remain strong and encourage her and then go to my room and have a moment. 

Life just isn't fair. There is so much hurt and brokenness. I look into her sweet eyes everyday and am just amazed at the little girl that she is. I'm thankful to her family for nurturing her and caring for her. I'm thankful that they realized they couldn't provide the adequate care that she needed and decided to seek outside help. On the days when it kills me that she doesn't get to see her family or talk to her family, I'm reminded that right now, this is what's best for her. I've learned in the past month that it doesn't take long to become a momma bear. Chris and I have learned that we are her biggest advocates and that if we don't speak up for her, who will? We've been "those people" the last month with teachers, doctors, CPS workers, you name it. I'm totally fine to be thought of as annoying and persistent if it means that little miss gets what she needs. 

Foster care is a broken system, no doubt about it, but it is one of the most beautiful and transformational things I've ever experienced. 

((I plan to write several other posts this month, ranging in all things foster care. If you've ever had thoughts or interests in fostering, please read my next posts. I hope it will encourage you and push you along on your journey. There is such a need for foster families. There is such a need for people to be a voice for the kids who unfortunately don't get one.))