Not a goodbye, but a see you later

I moved to Springfield three and a half years ago. I was homesick and knew no one. Every inch in my being wanted to move back home and be with my friends and family. As I begin packing up my apartment three and a half years later, I find myself not wanting to leave my new family. Over the past three years I have met so many incredible people. People who have become my best friends. People who have helped me become who I am. It is hard to imagine my life without these people being right by my side. Don't get me wrong, we will have lots of Skype dates, phone calls, and Facebook messages, but it is just not the same!

Reflecting back on my past three years, I have an overwhelming sense of peace that God had a plan and a purpose for my time here at Missouri State. My path was supposed to cross with all of these wonderful people. God has taught me some amazing things during my time at college. I just want to go through some of the awesome blessing during my time at Missouri State.

For starters, Christian Campus House was a HUGE blessing. The staff took me under their wing and helped me feel at home when I was very homesick. I became super involved and my relationship with the Lord grew and molded in ways I never would have imagined. I got to experience true discipleship, true service, and true missions work. I was able to travel to Mexico and Kosovo on mission trips. Both of these places hold a very near and dear place in my heart. The staff and students at CCH become not only my very close friends, but my family. I cannot express how much I love and cherish CCH. 

These three woman, have impacted my life in amazing ways! Monique, Anne, and Sarah are all women's ministers at CCH. They have been there for me my entire college career. They have been there to encourage me, laugh with me, give me advice, and tell me things I didn't always want to hear. I know that they love me and believe in me and I appreciate that so much :) They have each individually taught me so much about the Lord and about life. They do SO much for the girls in CCH and they deserve recognition and praise! Thank you for all the times you've listened to my freak outs, let me cry on your shoulder, made fun of me, and accepted me for who I am. I love each and everyone of you so deeply.

Megan and I met second semester of freshman year in the stairwell of Freddy. I seriously don't know what I would have done without her!! We are both education majors and have had all of our classes together. We lived together this last semester! She is one of my best friends. I love how open and honest we can be with each other. We are alike in so many ways, it's scary! Thank you for being such a great friend to me! I know that we will stay friends forever and talk about life and teacher stuff!! I'm so excited for where your life is headed. I know the Lord is going to use you in powerful ways!! 

Katie Anne is one of my closest friends. We met at the very first 8:01 of freshman year. My friendship with Katie is unlike any other friendships I've ever had. She has taught me to embrace who I am and go with it. She is brilliant (even though she would argue otherwise), she always puts others before herself, she is a faithful friend, a true servant of the Lord, and she has a huge heart. She has taught me so much. She has listened to my rants about life, countless times. She has been there for me through my darkest times and my happiest times. We have so many memories together and I cannot wait to see where the Lord takes her. I know she is going to do amazing things for the Kingdom! 

This beautiful lady, Melissa was my roommate for two years! We met freshman year as well. She is one of the most fun, loving, and adventurous people I have ever met. She has such a gentle and loving spirit! She is also one of the strongest women I know. We have gone through many ups and downs together over the past three years and there isn't anyone I would have rather shared them with. :) She just had her first baby girl! I am so excited for what the Lord has in store for her. She is going to be a great momma!!

Kayla is seriously an angel sent from heaven. She has been such a blessing in my life. We met the first Sunday of freshman year. She took me under her wing and became my mentor. We met every week to study the Bible. We soon became very close friends, and eventually accountability partners. Kayla knows my heart better than anyone (besides the Lord and Chris of course). She has been a great example of what a Godly women looks like. She is dependable, humble, and she loves the Lord with all of her being. We have shared in so much together. We are able to be completely honest with one another and lean on each other during hard times. I know she is always someone I can call and ask for prayer. She means so much to me!! 

Last, but certainly not least is my handsome fiancé! Who knew going into college that I would end up marrying this hunk? Chris is my best friend and the love of my life. God brought us together during our sophomore year of college. He has been such a blessing to me over the past few years. He has made me a better, stronger person. I cannot wait to see what the Lord has in store for us! :) 

There have been many others who have impacted my life during college. Friends that I will never forget and who I will stay in contact with. I am so thankful for the past three and a half years. If I had to do it over, I wouldn't change a thing. Thank you to everyone who has been apart of my life during the last three years. You have greatly impacted my life! :)

New Beginnings

Before getting engaged, Chris and I talked about where we wanted to end up once we were married. So many people have been asking us what our plans are going to be once we are married and our answer has been, "We don't know yet." Well, in my last post I talked about how I surrendered Chris and I's relationship to the Lord and had a lot of peace that He would reveal to us where He wanted us, in His timing. -- That time has finally come! The last month and a half has been absolutely crazy for Chris and I. I want to share the story with everyone because it is such a testimony to who God is and how when we give up control, He shows us His plan and it is always better than what we would have planned. So, here we go.... :)

Chris got an email about a month and a half ago from a church in Florissant, MO requesting a resume for him. We found this really comical. I know that may sounds odd, but let me explain. Chris really wants to live anywhere, except Missouri and all of his contacts are outside of Missouri so he figured he would get his way. I on the other hand, really really really wanted to stay in Missouri. Both of our families live here and I am certified to teach here. I kind of gave up on the hope of living in MO since we really had no contacts in MO. God had other plans. Weirdly enough the preacher from Florissant found Chris' resume over Google while looking for a friend's contact information. That same friend was a reference on Chris' online resume. After finding this out, I was humbled by how the Lord used something as simple as Google to get us a contact in Missouri. This whole time I figured Missouri would be counted out and I totally discredited the work the Lord could do.

After an interview, things just really started falling into place. Everyday we were finding out new information that was just odd. We figured out how the church was the same church that one of my aunts attends. We also found out that our youth minister from high school grew up in that church. The pastors son-in-law had worked at Harvester, our home church, under Chris' dad. It felt like everyday there was a new connection we had to the church. As the weeks went by, we continued to pray and just trust that if this is what God had for us, that it would continue to work out.

Further along in the interview process, we had a few things we were trying to figure out, such as, where Chris would live if he worked at the church and if he would be able to meet all of his financial needs, and finish his schooling. It was incredible because we did nothing and things just fell into place. His financial needs were met, the church offered him a house to live in during his time there, and his classes fell perfectly on Tuesdays and Thursdays. He originally had class everyday of the week, but the class on M-W-F got cancelled and moved to T-TH. He also found out that a conference he went to this semester could count as an Independent Study and would get him 3 credits. All of these things happened so quickly and we did nothing for them to work.

This past month and a half has grown my faith tremendously. We did not do a thing and everything fell perfectly into place. I always freaked out about figuring out God's will for my life and wanting to make sure I was doing the right thing. I have learned over the past few months, when we surrender and truly let God work, He will place us exactly where He wants us. This overwhelms me with peace. We never imagined not being long distance before we were married and now in December we finally will get to be together long term. Chris will be starting his position with the youth group beginning in the New Year and will be living in Florissant and traveling to Lincoln twice a week for classes. We will finally get to experience being in the same town (or state for that matter) and doing ministry together. It is such an exciting time for us and such a blessing from the Lord. :)

Psalm 23

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.He makes me lie down in green pastures,
 he leads me beside quiet waters, he refreshes my soul.
 He guides me along the right paths
 for his name’s sake. Even though I walk
 through the darkest valley, 
I will fear no evil,
 for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
 they comfort me. You prepare a table before me
 in the presence of my enemies. 
You anoint my head with oil;
 my cup overflows. Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
  forever. 
- Psalm 23 

This has been the verse that has been on my heart for the past few weeks. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a control freak and a planner. This is a very exciting time in my life because it is my last semester at Missouri State and then I move home, student teach, and then get married! This semester I decided to really really try to keep a heavenly perspective. This is something that I have found is easy to say you're doing, but is an entirely different thing to actually do. I surrendered so many things to the Lord. My schoolwork, my stress, and my worries. The three biggest things were probably my student teacher placement, Chris' and I's future, and my stress load this semester. I have to say, giving up control is one of the best things I have ever done. I honestly don't know why I didn't do it earlier. The Lord has been working in so many amazing ways. It's incredible. I'm excited to share some of those things in future posts :) This verse just reminds me that He is leading me, He is refreshing me, and He is guiding me. If I choose to be obedient and look to Him for direction, everything will work out. As many of my classmates are freaking out this semester about the amount of work and the amount of stress, I find myself dwelling in the presence of the Lord. Finding joy, peace, and happiness.  

Heavenly Treasures

I normally don’t participate in lent, but this year I decided that I wanted to do something that would test my faith and draw me closer to the Lord. I had really been challenged to trust God in my finances and to increase my offering. I had heard a sermon series a few weeks before lent, but I was scared to increase my tithe. For lent, I decided that I would tithe 12% from everything that came in. I normally just gave from my paychecks, but I decided that everything is God’s so a percent of everything should go back to Him. This was a scary step in faith because so much of my security comes from my money.

God has been SO faithful. This is the one things God asks us to test Him in and I’m so glad that I did. Every single week I have had money come in to tithe with. I can assure you that this is not normal. I used to just get paid twice a month and I would give from that, but EVERY week since lent, God has blessed me with money to give back to His kingdom. The past two weeks I reached a point where I was thinking- this will be the first week I won’t have money to tithe and literally, the same day I was thinking that, money came in. On one occasion my paycheck came through early and another my grandparents randomly (or not so randomly) sent me money. Every time I received money I was blown away with God’s faithfulness. Other things have been happening too. There have been weeks where I go out with people and they pay for my things – which is not a common thing because we’re all in college so no one has a lot of money!

A week before lent was over I was at a CCH sermon about money in the Bible. I was so encouraged from the sermon because I understood what Tyler was talking about. At the end of the sermon, CCH passed out a book, The Treasure Principle by Randy Alcorn. I came home and read the book and my perspective was changed even more. Alcorn talks about how we should be generous with our money. He explains how God owns everything and we are just stewards of His money. Instead of storing up treasures of this world, we should be storing up our treasures in heaven. The treasures of this world will pass away. This book and my experience with my tithe have changed my perspective on how I spend my money and what I stress about. I’ve realized I have had so much more joy in my life because I know that God is in control of everything. I no longer put my security in my bank account number, but in the Lord. I really, really strongly encourage you to read this book. It is only 6 chapters; super short and it can seriously change your life.

In the book, Alcorn talks about a man who’s faith was deepened because he started giving what was rightfully God’s back to Him. He said that as fast as he was handing his money out to those who needed it most, God was blessing him and giving it right back to him. I feel that this has been my own experience. At the beginning when I would write my checks to the church I was like “Really God, that’s a lot of my money, I am kind of nervous, but I am trusting You.” But every time I was faithful to God and kept my promise, He just blessed me by always providing what I needed. I’m not saying that you should increase your tithe so that God will pour money back into your bank account… Alcorn explains it using scripture. God has supplied us with some much so that we may bless others. “Your plenty will supply what you need…. You will be made rich…so that you can be generous on every occasion.” (2 Corinthians 8:14; 9:11)

When we are using our money to give back to the Kingdom, whether that is through tithing or through blessing those in need, it only makes sense that God will continue to give us more because we are spending it in the way He intended it to be used. He can trust us and know that we have an understanding of where our money should be going. I’m so happy that I decided to test the Lord through tithing during this past lent season and my hope is to continue increasing my tithe over the years. The Lord is SO faithful in keeping His promises. Hallelujah! J

The Honest Truth

Hello! It has been a long time since I’ve wrote an actual blog. I’m not really someone who writes about everyday things, but more when I just feel really lead and inspired. Through this letter I really just want to be honest and vulnerable in order to help you understand what I have been learning these past few months. In all of this, I want all of the glory to go to the Father!

So, let’s rewind about 5 months ago. I can honestly say that 5 months ago I was in the darkest place of my walk with the Lord, but ironically, I think one of the best places – I just didn’t know it at the time. Basically, I was in a place where I was beginning to question everything I believed in. Don’t get me wrong- I never stopped believing in God, but I did start to question exactly what it was that I believed and I wanted to know deep down why I believed what I did. This time was miserable. I felt so far from the Lord, I felt like I was trying to be obedient and stay in the Word, but I just didn’t have those “feelings.” There were many nights where I cried because I wanted to figure out why I was feeling the way I was and I wanted to feel the Lord’s embrace, but nothing was happening. I tried talking to mentors and asking them the questions that I most desperately wanted the answer to, but I didn’t find them. I was extremely blessed by Christopher at this time because I knew I could be honest with him about how I was feeling and not be judged. He was so encouraging and always knew a way to encourage me. He constantly prayed with me and for me and I began to feel his prayers. I am so thankful for him and the blessing that he was to me during this time and still today! :)

I realized that I had a lot of unanswered questions and anger with the Lord because there were many things I couldn’t understand and no one I was asking had the answers that I wanted to hear. I began to pray for clarity and understanding. The Lord heard my prayers and began softening my heart to Him again. I stayed committed to being in the Word daily, even if I wasn’t feeling close to the Lord. This is something I have learned many a times; it’s not about the feelings, but about being obedient. Anyways, I began to accept the fact that I would never understand and that I should continue to seek God, love and serve the people around me, and pray for understanding. And surely enough, God answered my prayers.

One afternoon I was behind on my Bible reading and I sat down to catch up. I was finishing the book of Deuteronomy and it was then that I had a revelation. Moses was telling the Israelites the blessing and the curses of following God or not following God. It was then that it hit me. This may sound like a “duh” moment because we hear this all the time at church, but I am learning that it is one thing to hear and say this, but another to truly believe and live it out. God was showing me clear as day that He is in control of everything. Ultimately, I can live with God and experience His blessings and joy, or I can deny Christ and live in darkness (even though He is still in control). It sounds like a no brainer. Not to mention the fact that He loved us so much, He sent His one and only Son to die on the cross for our sins. I could think of no better thing to live for. I truly believe that I have been blinded by this for so long because of the culture I am immersed in. We live in a place where we think no one should control us or determine our destiny. We don’t want anyone or anything to be in control of us, although so many things are, such as money. It is still hard for me to grasp the concept that God created me in order for me to live for Him and His purpose, not my own. It’s not surprising that we mold God into whatever we want Him to be because we want to be in control and we want to create our purpose in life- our culture drills that in our heads. I have been filled with so much joy and peace after finally figuring this out. It makes so much sense in my head. It has completely changed how I have begun to live my life. My worship has changed – He deserves our best worship all of the times, with hands lifted high. My outlook on how I spend my time has changed – am I living intentionally or am I wasting my time? My decisions for how I live my life have changed in many ways and my desires for things of this world have grown faint.

There have been so many more things that God has been doing in my life in order to reveal himself to me and I want to share them all, but this post is already so long! I will be writing another post in a few days about lent and how I have been so blessed in learning about where I am spending my money and how I am tithing. All I have to say is that the Lord is so faithful in His promises.

Lastly, I just want to close by encouraging anyone who is questioning their faith. First and foremost, don’t be afraid to voice you fears and frustrations with the Lord. He knows your prayers before you even lift them up to Him. Also, don’t be afraid to talk to others about them, it doesn’t make you any less of a Christian. In all honesty, I am so thankful for this time of darkness because it has allowed me to truly find the Light. I know that sometimes it is scary to share our doubts because we are told that we aren’t supposed to have doubts, but it’s in those times where we have doubts that we stay in the Word and draw closer to God in order for Him to help us understand Him better. I learned that seeking the wisdom of other believers is only helpful to an extent when trying to learn about God. The best person to help you learn about God is God himself. I feel that if we never stop and question why we believe what we do then we may miss out on a closer, more intimate relationship with the Father because we are happy staying where we are. 

In Deuteronomy, Chapter 4, Moses is telling the Israelites how idolatry is forbidden although he knows that it will most likely happen, he ends by saying "But if from there you seek the Lord your God,[meaning in the Promised Land] you will find him with all of your heart and with all of your soul. When you are in distress and all these things have happened to you, then in later days you will return to the Lord your God and obey him. For the Lord your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon or destroy your or forget the covenant with your forefathers, which he confined to them by oath." 

Deuteronomy 4:29-31 -- There is no way to read this and not be filled with hope!! 

Twenty-One Acts of Kindness

I finally completed my 21 Acts of Kindness! It went a little differently then I had expected, but overall it was a great experience. I ended up doing a few at school with my friends, a few at home with my mom, and the very last one on my birthday with Christopher. It was special to be able to share the experience with the people I love. Here are the 21 acts I ended up completing:

1. I made cookies and gave them to one of our neighbors! They were very surprised and happy!

2. I bought the mailman a Starbucks gift card and wrote him a thank you note!

3. We returned grocery carts into Dillions, the local grocery store. The man getting all of the carts thanked us for our help and was very grateful.

4. Once inside Dillions, I bought a gift card and found a mom who looked a little overwhelmed with all of her children in the store and gave her the gift card. The look on her face was priceless!

5. Next, we headed to the Fire Station and gave them a thank you note (written by my aunt Julie) and a box of doughnuts. They were super friendly and gave us a tour of the station. They invited us to come back on my actual birthday to slide down the pole. It was a lot of fun.

6. Then we headed over to campus and left encouraging notes on people's car in the commuter lot.

7. After getting the parking lot, we went into the library and left encouraging notes in books for people to find days, or even years later.

8. Then I left change in all of the vending machines in the library. Hopefully someone enjoyed a free snack or drink on me!

9. I dropped off a letter at Potter's House, a local Christian coffee shop in town. The letter was for the owners and included a note from me about how influential they have been in my life.

10. We headed downtown and give out bags to the homeless, but unfortunately, it was too cold to find anyone. We had over 50 bags to handout and I ended up taking them to the ministry I am involved in for them to use for their homeless ministry. Every Thursday night students go downtown and feed the homeless. We handed out ALL 50 bags! The women and men were very appreciative and were so excited to have received a few new things! Thank you to all of the lovely ladies who made it possible to make that many bags!

11. My family helped me collect over 5 bags and boxes of canned food goods to give to the church's food shelter. They were happy for our help!

12. My mom and I went through Dairy Queen and paid for the person's order behind us!

13. I donated some of my clothes to the local Goodwill.

14. I went into a laundry mat and gave a random lady a handful of quarters. This was one of my favorite acts because as soon as I handed her the money her eyes filled with tears and I could tell she was very thankful. This one act made it all worth it.

15. Christopher helped me make chocolate chips muffins and we took them to church Sunday morning for the staff to eat in the morning! They were very appreciative!

16. I used to work at Papa John's and I would always bake for the workers. My mom and I bought cookies and dropped them off for the workers.

17. We took another box of cookies and gave them to a local fire station in St. Charles.

18. I let people get in line in front of me at the grocery store.

19. I offered to pump people's gas in the cold, but no one would let me. One lady was very appreciative, but only wanted so much gas in the car!

20. I wrote a note for my women's minister Anne!

21. I wrote a note for my women's minister Mo!


I am so happy I decided to do this for my birthday. I would highly recommend others do it for theirs, or just everyday look for ways to serve those around you. I definitely learned a lot from doing this. It has opened my eyes to see ways that I can serve others in my everyday life. Seeing the amount of joy that some of these small acts brought to people were so rewarding! I learned a lot about my own comfort zone and that of others. I also really realized how much people do not want to ask for help or offer their help to others. This has really inspired me to see things differently and meet the needs of those around me. Lastly, I just want to say thank you for everyone who helped supply all of the items that were given out. To all of the girls who put the bags together for the homeless, for my aunt Julie, for writing the letter to the Firefighters, and all of my family who donated can food goods and many other things. I'm so happy I got to share it with my family and my friends!! It was such a special thing and I would do it all over again if I had the opportunity.

Natalie